…and now, for something completely different:
Okay, so not completely, but this one is actually a set of haiku poems that are each related to the next by some element of language or thought. Each poem builds itself out of the bones of the previous one. I've used similar structures in the past, but this is my first try with this particular technique. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated. Haikus, for me, are like snacks. Can’t write just one. Anyway, I hope you enjoy these as much as my usual, hit ‘em in the head with a brick style.
Fourteen Degrees of Deviation
The exhalation
comes slowly, haltingly, breath
never freely spent.
Breath is uncertain
wind, reversing course, life its
indeterminance.
Uncertainty of
beauty, the shadows falling,
her shoulder’s hollow.
Hollow sounds within
the canyon, one becoming
three in this drum song.
Songs of warriors live
in the ephemeral book
of the second world.
Second worlds, eyes like
striped stones, seeing clear though
the smoke of making.
Smoke and the sounds of
structures burning, animal
senses unbound, wild.
Unbound, still restrained
by marks and scars upon our
spirit selves, crippled.
Selves are houses made
without mortar enough to
seal away the chill.
Chill thoughts of morning,
incised memories and thoughts of
cut grass smell, vivid.
Vivid colors, heat,
convergence of water in
a dry place, blessed.
Blessed convergence,
smooth fingers upon fevered
flesh, better than dreams.
The better flesh stays,
incorruptible tissue
moves in unison.
In unison, quick
insects fly windward, pollen
like scent symphonies.
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Across Inconstant Breath
Would that this skin this frail armor atop the husk of slow departure - Would that it held against the teeth of night's maw a...
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Prove this with your science, Hercules, you with your trials and madness, soaked in the blood of the vanquished. Prove this with your scienc...
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(in honor of the apparently, partially visible periods I use to alter spacing) The suggestions of gravity ...... Are sometimes taken and... ...
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The shapes of animals move against her skin in the dim light, the forest reaching out to touch the essence, sick with need like I was then, ...
5 comments:
My favorite:
"Selves are houses made
without mortar enough to
seal away the chill."
Thanks for the change of pace.
Swiftboat,
Thanks for coming over. I only saw your other comment on "Sting of Corrupted Rain" tonight. I appreciate your thoughts on both poems.
Before I posted this one, I had another person say that your favorite was the one they preferred. I personally like a few of the others more, but maybe there's enough of them to suit multiple pallettes.
Again, thanks, and please come back anytime.
They're all lovely but that one is my favourite too.
Personally, I liked:
The better flesh stays,
incorruptible tissue
moves in unison.
But then again I'm slightly off center! :)
Another great post Firehawk.. I love reading your stuff!
Thanks, everyone. Glad you liked the haikus. I'll have to write some more when the moment seems right.
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