Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Easy Chances At Redemption

Have we labored within
the cardboard stricture of
these thoughts—that we can
simply get up and walk yet
another day along the road,
leaving our less successful
ventures behind us to fall
in and burn under the late
summer's heat lightning?

Have we looked with such
shallow perception into
the hazy other days we
no longer mention to
condition these responses,
these mythic ideas of
water washing things
away, of words mitigating
action, healing the voids
between what should have
been and what was?

Have we imagined all
this time that we can
dress our own history
as we dress ourselves
in the morning mirror,
straightening the collar
over a darker moment,
pressing the wrinkles
of hurts we've done
with the steaming
iron?

Have we, drunk with
the necessity of keeping
on, swallowed whole these
easy chances at redemption,
re-inventing as we choose,
clothing ourselves in
whatever swaddle suits and
allows us that momentary
sensation of unbearable
lightness?

All these things are
fictions, as clothes are
invented overlays to us
as we tread these roads
blind, hoping without
bothering to specify the
object of it all.

Do we dare hard light
upon our pale and secret
carcasses, walking naked
and unvarnished into the
unromantic museums?

Do we dare the mirror
for any long moment,
eyes open to the accumulated
sweat, blood and dirt,
the twisted shapes, the
tell-tales of our indulgence
and delusion?

No, perhaps let's zip that
dark leather close about
us and accelerate beyond
these awful questions for
another day.

Let's steal that very dark
pair of sunglasses from
the corner store and forget
the feel of grime against
the back of our necks,
still hoping further
remembrance fails.

7 comments:

Mushster said...

You have incredible insight into the ways of human nature but what strikes me most about your work is that often your writings pose questions I've asked of people myself, only not in your calm, atriculate way lol.

Bill said...

I've often pondered, as I 'gear up' for a ride, the irrational feelings of invincibility wrapping yourself in leather, kevlar and fiberglass can evoke.

A sort of isolation from the world outside, different from, but not unlike, the feelings you can get surrounded by a ton of more of steel in a car.

I've wondered how knights in armor felt before battle, knowing the suit couldn't really protect them entirely, despite how it made them feel.

Yet another nice piece.

drthunder said...

Yes! Your writing is wonderfully articulate about things that most people avoid speaking about.

Firehawk said...

Mushter,

Those are wonderfully nice things to say. I'm honored.

Bill,

I think that, in some way, the "armor" we put on our bodies seems more profound than the act of being behind glass and steel. There's more personal transformation. The protection element is almost secondary to the idea that we become something "other" when we don certian sorts of armor. We hide from ourselves and the world, perhaps.

Doc,

I like to talk about the elephant in the living room. Yep. Thanks for coming over

erin said...

Another incredible piece that takes us to task.

Stranger Ken said...

Guilty as charged, Firehawk, like most of us, I'd guess. Your argument scythes through the conventions behind which we shelter all that's worst in our natures in a ferociously didactic tone which it's difficult not to admire, even as one feels the sharpness of your words. In Buddhism, there is a saying: when you boil rice, remember that the water you use is your own life.

Firehawk said...

Erin,

I hope I'm taking myself to task more than anyone else, though I've been guilty of externalizing things in the past. I suppose we need short memories, since we tend to mess up so much of what we touch.

Ken,

If I'd known about being "ferociously didactic", I would have certainly aspired to that state. From what I've read, Buddhism has a lot to say on the fact that we are our own worst enemies. I can find any evidence that we aren't.

Again, thanks for coming by. Glad you liked my latest diatribe.

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